I couldn’t sleep today, and thought about Paris.

I woke up before dawn today. After laying in bed for a while, it became evident that I wouldn’t be falling back asleep. Instead, I read a script, wrote a log line, planned a skype with a far away friend, read world news, and worried.

I thought about the world we live in, and how we have so much to lose in different ways. 

Today, I logged on to Facebook and was notified that three friends in Paris were safe. One has yet to be accounted for. This was the second time I’ve seen the Facebook safety feature in action, though the first time I was sitting on this side of the computer screen. 

I was in the Nepal earthquakes earlier this year. I was lucky enough to be in an area almost completely out of harm’s way, though that didn’t stop my friends and family (or us in Nepal, for that matter) from worrying. 

After the last of the large aftershocks occurred in May, we examined maybe-new, maybe-not cracks in the walls and tried to gage how safe we were. To question how we’d been left standing while neighbors were crumbling. To contemplate why things were crumbling in the first place. 

My friends at home knew of none of this, and were just happy to see that I was still alive, marked “safe.”

Facebook’s safety features are now pointed somewhere else, and I’m the one behind the computer receiving updates on my friends’ safety. 

This time the ground isn’t shaking. This time we aren’t being pulled apart by forces beyond our control. These were people. These were deliberate. These were malicious. I don’t know how we could have prevented it, but this, somehow, had to be controllable. These are human beings. 

I keep thinking about this HONY from the other day. “We’d both been traumatized–but I never hurt anyone.”

We are all struggling.
We are all people.
We are all Paris, New York, Lebanon, Syria, Nepal, and Earth. 

We are every disaster in and out of human control. Why are we making it so difficult?